


In Any Moment

by cathcer1984



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2019-03-05 14:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13389711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathcer1984/pseuds/cathcer1984
Summary: When Severus is asked by the Weasleys to help Harry out of his hibernation, he doesn't expect to find common ground.





	In Any Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of took a little bit of liberty with the prompt, and instead of 'people he loves' I went with 'people whose deaths Harry blames on himself'. I hope this is okay, and I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> Prompt: After losing so many people he loves, Harry hoards little trinkets which have great personal meaning. Severus finds his collection.
> 
> A huge thank you to [personal profile] digthewriter for the beta and [personal profile] magicalthings for helping me figure out the trinkets for each person. It took us a while! The title and what Severus says is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt.

  
**Title:** In Any Moment  
**Author:** [](http://drarryxlover.livejournal.com/profile)[**drarryxlover**](http://drarryxlover.livejournal.com/)  
**Other pairings/threesome:** None  
**Rating:** PG  
**Word count:** ~2000  
**Content/Warning(s):** (highlight for spoilers) * Pre-slash*  
**Prompt:** #73 After losing so many people he loves, Harry hoards little trinkets which have great personal meaning. Severus finds his collection.  
**Summary:** When Severus is asked by the Weasleys to help Harry out of his hibernation, he doesn't expect to find common ground.  
**A/N:** I sort of took a little bit of liberty with the prompt, and instead of 'people he loves' I went with 'people whose deaths Harry blames on himself'. I hope this is okay, and I hope you enjoy this.

A huge thank you to [](https://digthewriter.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**digthewriter**](https://digthewriter.dreamwidth.org/) for the beta and [](https://magicalthings.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**magicalthings**](https://magicalthings.dreamwidth.org/) for helping me figure out the trinkets for each person. It took us a while! The title and what Severus says is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt.

  
** In Any Moment **  


Severus fingered the dirty pillowcase and wondered why Potter hadn’t washed it all. Ever since Severus had been coming to Grimmauld Place to see Potter, and try and draw him out of his depression as Granger and the Weasleys had pleaded and then paid him to do, the pillowcase had been sitting on the mantelpiece.

There were no other trinkets that Severus could see, or had seen in the rooms he’d been in, but that didn’t mean the pillowcase was the only one. Potter hadn’t met Severus at the Floo today; he didn’t respond to Severus’ comments, and that made Severus worry.

Letting the pillowcase drop, he wiped his fingers on his robes and then left the room, deciding that, for the first time, he would hunt Harry out. Severus stepped by Mrs Black’s curtained portrait and headed upstairs. He didn’t know which room Potter stayed in anymore. He could still be in the room he’d shared with Weasley over that one summer.

When Severus checked in there, it was dark and empty of everything except furniture, so Severus shut the door and carried on. He opened doors as he went, peering inside each dark room as he passed by.

Severus climbed the stairs and eventually he came to the room he assumed he’d find Potter in, Black’s old room opposite Regulus’. He put his hand on Regulus’ door and ran his fingers over the name of his first love but Severus turned away to open Black’s room. He had been there before; the Muggle women and Gryffindor pride was as in-your-face as ever, but what got Severus’ attention was everything else in the room.

There was an empty owl cage, newspaper still in the bottom, but it was yellow and faded. Severus stepped closer and his foot bumped a bloodstained knife; he bent down to peer at it. The blood, like the newspaper, was old and dry Severus frowned before standing. He looked at the bedside table, which had a shard of glass on it, and next to that, a pair of round-framed glasses. The glass sat atop a letter; Severus looked closer and saw that it was the first page of the letter Lily had written to Sirius, the letter that Severus had stolen the second page of, which had _Love Lily_.

He didn’t really understand what he was seeing. There were things everywhere: a small glass tank that looked vaguely familiar; a pair of woollen socks was slung over the side of it. There were two ears attached by a piece of flesh coloured string, a small silver-backed hairbrush, a cake. Severus sniffed the cake, surprised to find it under a Stasis Charm. Next to the cake was a golden egg, the same kind the Champions had to rescue from the dragons in the First Task of the TriWizard Tournament. A galleon sat next to a camera on a shelf, and some pink bubblegum, too. Severus went to move around the bed but almost tripped on a large trunk; sitting on top of it were two halves of a Snitch.

Everywhere he looked there was something that didn’t belong. Severus knew that this obsession was Harry’s, but what it meant as a whole, and what each individual item meant, was something that he couldn’t begin to fathom. The only thing he couldn’t see was Harry.

“Potter?” Severus called. There was no answer and Severus was beginning to feel uneasy; taking one last look around the room, Severus turned to leave. As he moved something caught his eye; he knew that trunk, it had been seared into his mind since the day the Dark Lord had returned. Severus glanced about for the keys; when he couldn’t find any, he lifted the lid, hoping that it would open on the underground pit.

Holding his breath, Severus brushed the pieces of Snitch off the lid and lifted, growling. Potter looked up at him from the floor and his eyes went wide. Severus was livid; he barely kept control of his anger as he barked, “Get out. Now!”

Potter climbed out the trunk and stood before it, his body curled in on itself and face white with fear.

“You stupid boy!” Severus started, “How long have you been down there?” When Potter didn’t answer, Severus shouted “How long!?”

“An hour, or two.” Potter’s voice was weak and breaking.

“And how often do you do this?” Severus said, calming his voice so he didn’t frighten Potter more.

“Every day.”

“Excuse me?”

Potter swallowed and raised his head, glaring defiantly at Severus as he said louder, “Every day.”

“And these?” Severus waved his hand around the room, “What are they?”

Severus watched quietly as Potter eyed the room. “They’re trinkets.”

Raising his eyebrows, Severus said, “Trinkets.”

With a sigh, Potter ran a hand up and down the back of his neck. “I keep them to remind me of people.”

“What people?”

Potter didn’t say anything and Severus moved forward, putting a hand on Potter’s shoulder. “What people, Po- Harry?”

“The ones I killed,” Potter choked out and, before Severus could help himself, he tugged Potter forward and held him close to his chest. Potter’s arms came up and clutched at Severus’ robes; his breathing was deep but controlled.

When they broke apart, Potter smiled weakly and Severus pulled his hands away, clasping them together to prevent himself from touching Potter more. “Would you like to tell me about them? What they mean?”

“No,” Potter said bluntly, and he wrapped his arms around himself. “Not today.”

“Perhaps tomorrow, then.”

~*~

It took four weeks of Severus asking Harry each day, “Will you tell me about them?” before Potter acquiesced and took Severus up to Black’s room to tell him about each item.

Potter fingered the letter first and turned to Severus. “You know this one. It was Mum’s. And these were Dad’s.” Potter traced a finger around the wire frame of the glasses. He pointed to the shard of glass. “That was part of a mirror Sirius gave me. I- I forgot about it, should have used it and he’d still be alive today.”

“You cannot possibly know that for certain,” Severus said, but Harry just shrugged and moved to touch the glass tank. “Remus kept his Grindylow in this in his office at Hogwarts.” That would be why it looked familiar to Severus; he had seen it for months when he took Lupin his Wolfsbane.

“And the socks?”

“Dumbledore. They aren’t actually his, but it’s something he told me once.” Potter smiled sadly at the socks and Severus thought he was beginning to understand: these _items_ belonged to people Potter had loved.

“The Extendable Ears, one of Fred’s more useful inventions. The hairbrush was Ted Tonks’, and a cake for Crabbe. The TriWizard egg is Cedric’s; his parents didn’t want it, so I took it.” Potter seemed to be on a roll, barely pausing for breath as he moved from one thing to the next, his fingers barely touching them, and Severus could only watch with dawning horror at what all this was a collection of.

“This is the fake galleon Hermione made for the D.A. it was Lavender’s. The camera was Colin’s, and the bubblegum reminds me of Tonks’ hair. You know the trunk, Mad-Eye’s.” Potter spread his arms wide. “That’s it.”

“The knife?” Severus asked calmly and watched Potter kick it away in disgust.

“Pettigrew’s, the one he used in the graveyard to cut my arm and his hand off.”

Severus nodded and they stood in silence for a bit before Severus said quietly, “And the Snitch halves?”

“Oh.” For the first time Potter seemed embarrassed. “That’s mine.”

Trying hard to maintain control of his emotions, Severus eyed Harry. “And you come in here every day to sit with these things.”

“They aren’t things!” Potter shouted.

“Yes, Potter, they are. That’s all they are. _Things_ , trinkets of the dead!”

“And they died because of me!” Potter roared and Severus took a step back; he hadn’t realised how deep Potter’s guilt ran, nor how much Potter was punishing himself for the choices of others.

“They died because they chose to.” Potter physically recoiled from Severus, and Severus said sharply, “They chose to go to war, to oppose evil and they knew going in that they might not come out alive. I presume you knew that?”

“Yes.”

“As did I. As did everyone who fought against and for the Dark Lord in the First and Second Wars; we made our choices.” As he looked over at Potter, who was eyeing all the items with something akin to confusion, “I know it is not easy to live with the deaths of people you could have saved,” he said, thinking of Lily, and James Potter, Charity Burbage and Albus. “But you cannot dwell, Harry. You must move forward.”

“How?”

“You need to remove these items.” When Potter began to shake his head violently, Severus huffed out a breath. “Fine, they may stay so long as you do not spend your days in this room or that trunk. You and I shall go out each day; I shall not leave your side until I am sure that you will not lock yourself in this room.

“It will not be easy; you will need to face up to what you did and what you could have done. But remember, _In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing._ ”

Potter looked up and eyed Severus, his brow furrowed. “You understand?” he asked quietly.

“Better than you might think.” Severus held out a hand. “I would like to show you something.”

When Potter took his hand, Severus drew them out of the room and the house, where he Apparated them to Spinner’s End. He was ashamed of his house but Potter’s mental welfare was more important than his ego. Severus led Potter to his bedroom and pulled a small brown box out from under the bed; opening it, Severus let Potter look inside.

He watched Potter closely. “May I?” Potter asked as he reached inside. Severus nodded to let him go ahead. Potter, as he had earlier, pulled out the letter first and ran his fingers over the _Love Lily_ before placing it on the bed.

Potter then pulled out a Gryffindor tie. “It was your father’s,” Severus explained briefly.

Next came a bright red feather from Fawkes. “Dumbledore,” Potter breathed, before laying it on top of the letter. There was a Muggle socket, a diamond ring and a doll, as well. “Whose are they?”

“The plug is for Charity Burbage, the ring was my mother’s and-” Severus stopped, reaching out to finger the doll’s pretty pink dress, “-This belonged to a girl named Cynthia Maxwell; she was left an orphan by my actions.”

Severus plucked his fingers away from the dress and was surprised when Potter caught them and gave a quick squeeze before letting go. “You see, we all have our crosses to bear but we do not need to dwell on them every hour of each day. Keep your trinkets, Harry, but put them away; you know they are there but you need not be confronted by them each second.”

Potter carefully placed everything back into the box and put the lid on. Severus took a deep breath and quirked his lips upwards in a semblance of a smile. “Thank you,” Potter said seriously, leaning forward to press a kiss to Severus’ cheek. Severus nodded his head and held out his hand. “Shall we take a walk?”

“I’d like that... Severus,” Harry said. He smiled and took Severus’ hand. Severus knew Potter had taken a step in the right direction. It would be a long road for him to come to terms with everything that had happened, but Severus planned to be beside him every step of the way, hand in hand.  


-The End-

  



End file.
